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I feel like I have been living in a dark room for a lot of years
and finally I turned on the light switch.

At the end of 2010 I start looking at the BP oil spill and the effects on the
golf stream and so causing cold winters in Europe. I started looking at other
videos of Marcel Messing, Alex Jones and David Icke. Also of Bill Ryan and I
ended up on his website Project Avalon one night. I couldn’t believe my eyes. There
were other people like me with the same thoughs and they were writing about it
on a forum!! At that moment something happened with me. I made the connection
between my left and right brain.

Brain left right

The bridge between my left and right brain opened up. I woke up! I went sleeping late
and I woke up very early the next morning. What I saw were three things: A painting of
a monkey in front of me (my chinese zodiac), to the left a painting of a butterfly
(a transition from caterpillar to butterfly) and finally I looked at my Philips Wake-Up light.

Since that night a lot of things happened. Like a rollercoaster ride. And everytime I thought
it was the end of the ride it only was a little in between phase. I have learned everything about
the REAL world we live in. Where everything is upside down. That’s why George Orwell already wrote
his book 1984 back in 1948. “War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.”
‘They’ still tell us they start wars to bring freedom. The United States and all the others western
countries pretend they want to free humanity from dictators all over the world, but it’s of course all about
money and greed. And still people believe ‘them’ and even soldiers fight for these people. Believing
they fight for king and country. No, they fight for the sick and evil people at the top who don’t have
empathy and don’t care if innocent women and children die.

When I woke up I was so glad it was the world being the problem and not me. I finally understood.
And of course I wanted to tell everyone about it. Just explain some things and mail them some links
and they would see it too. No! Not true. Doesn’t work that way. Not at all. I tried and I tried, but
I ended up tired and very lonely and really dissapointed. How in the world was it possible I could
see everything very clear and I understood, but people close to me didn’t. We do live in the same
world ? But of course we all create our own world with the things we have learned from others. And
because we are bombarded with lies since birth people completely believe in an illusional world:
The Matrix:

Matrix - Being a Slave

So I had to live with the fact I could see all those horrible things happening in the world and I had
this experience that I would love to share with people close to me, but no one understood. So from that
moment I started to email and chat with like-minded people, beginning with the members of the forum.
And they were all very important for me. And they still are. I have a lot of friends all over the world.
From Australia, via Ghana, to the West Coast of the US. And I have learned a lot from them. But I told myself to come out of my chair and start meeting people in real life out here in the Netherlands. I visited a lot
of meetings of different speakers: Marcel Messing, David Icke, David Wilcock and others. And I have visited
a lot of spiritual people where I could share my story with and could also give a massage or work on my energy centers.

Since the night I woke up I have tried to explain others close to me what is happening with me and I have tried to explain what is really happening in the world. But I couldn’t relieve my feelings. So there are still a lot
of emotions like anger, frustration, fear and sadness trapped in my emotional body. I want to work on those emotions and so I can breathe again. The latest reading I had was the one of Andrew Bartzis (link to post).
And he told me I have absorbed so much information and so I have to defragment my brain and a lot energy
is stuck in my body at the wrong places. So the most important thing for me now is to let energy flow
again. So instead of soaking up information I have to speak about my experience and write things down.
Having this blog is a good thing to share thoughts and feelings. And I am doing yoga lately (link to post)
I am also meditating and I have my ritual by burning incense a lot of the time to relax. Taking
a lot of showers and going to the sauna. Having massages and walking in nature. Making music too!

It all started with reading books of Eckhart Tolle and so I learned about the difference between the ego
and who really are: the consciousness becoming aware of the ego. Later on I visited a massage center a lot
of times and a friend I still be in contact with told me about 2012 and the big shift. As I have told before
at the end of 2010 I really woke up and so it was the magic three again. By reading books of Eckhart Tolle
I became conscious of the fact I’m reïncarnated to experience the big shift we are in right now. Coïncidentally
I had my dark night of the soul as an individual and as a collective we are going to a shift too!

Only the individual can rise to the heights of consciousness and awareness The more you belong to the crowd, the deeper you fall into darkness  Osho

So as a Phoenix I have lost the one I thought I was and I rise up again and so we as humanity rise up
again too from the ashes / mess we are in right now. More and more people are waking up and so ‘they’
do everything to keep us dumped down. With the air we breathe, the water we drink and the food we eat.
And of course though the media. Tel-lie-vision, radio and movies are all part of brainwashing us and
how do we explain someone is brainwashed who is brainwashed ? How do we explain people fluoride in toothpaste isn’t a good thing, while they calcify their brains everyday by using fluoride ?

I don’t want to put a lot of energy anymore in trying to wake up people. They can come to me if they want to and I will put most energy in working together with the ones who do want to change things for the better instead of being part of the ratrace their whole life. Of course a lot of people are afraid of the truth. They don’t wanna know. But “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off”. We all have to go through the darkest nights of the soul to see the light in the end.

Do No thing

We, the people, have to come with alternatives. Instead of fighting them and demonstrating we have to work on ourselves and remember who we really are. And we are very powerful beings when we take responsibility of our own lives:


Steering our lives in the right direction, instead of jumping of the cliff collectivelly as lemmings.
So from now on we go forward with a smile and leave the mess behind:

Going forward

One Comment
  1. So this is where you have been hiding out.:) Very well written. I have been encouraged (nagged, lol) to do the same myself, to put the process in words to enable me to closer inspect.

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